I Ain't No Full Time Gay

Stop talking, please just stop. Flip the switch and stop the words from their source. All we ever do is talk. Reminders of yesterday, of last week and last month. Reminders of how unreliable I am. Talks of how reckless I have become. Chatter to top all chats. Stop talking, please just stop. Flip the switch and stop the words from their source. I am only tired of using my mouth for something other than kissing. Words carefully constructed, de-constructed and reconstructed to resemble sincerity, empathy and honesty to mask lies and infidelities. I said I was sorry. I even apologized for what I was sorry apologizing for. Lies to keep the truce, so shut up and drink your juice. Stop talking, please just stop. Flip the switch and stop the words from their source. Please bring back the peace and let us break bread. If you point your finger, I will point to the mirror.

Sun blazing down, rain pouring down Sun glistening off the sea, reflected in our seams. Seams from you Seams from me Biding us together Hopefully forever Soul to soul Palm to palm You and me, hope we will always be Finger pointed; statements retracted Game being blamed, but continuously burning the flame Weeks come, us always holding on to, Dreaming to survive another Hoping you will forever be my lover I loved you then; normal chinos made sky-high High is what I feel; love you create. Love that dominates Hearts conflicted Confliction ruling. Always pending Never ending Confliction prevails Our hearts detained I would rather die alone than spend a day without the one I call my own for this would be our fate, should we continue to procrastinate I loved you then; normal chinos made sky-high High is what I feel; love you create. Love that dominates 'till that day, when all is gone, I will continue loving you like the sea as you lov

Blinded by his beauty and my judgement impaired by the instantaneous infatuation of what lay before me. Trail of thought lost as my eyes follow his every movement, mapping his curves, creases and linear path. I know nothing about him, naive to his past, curious of his future and unaware of his present. Unaverred, I don't care as I am mesmerized by him. I picture myself with him. He and I, us. I want to make him mine. That was then, this is now. "Why not?" I asked him as he replied with a NO! We've been at this cat and mouse game for some time now - I've showed him my interest and I know that he feels the same. So, I ask him again, "Why NOT?" But this time, I take he's hand and stare into his honey brown eyes. As if he was putting, he's foot down, trying to get the reason(s) he would deny me the opportunity to love him and be loved by him. He replies again, "I just can't. I just can't." Months of conversing about each other and w

I have always been a conduit, a vessel of thoughts and memories, often of the collective. Fearful of the words and images that my thumbs and eyes would channel Me, confused and overwhelmed, emotional as they flashed through my subconscious in an awakened state. Easier to recite them in my mind then to put pen to paper, easier to whisper them to myself then to share them with my shadow, Easier to let go of the unknown then to find understanding and meaning in these visions, images gifted, anointed benevolence. I often find myself sickly without cause nor understanding, but easily assign words of feigned English understanding, flu like symptoms of what would appear to be a far larger ailment, one of a mind wanting to expand, at odds with rationalisation - the need of knowing when none was required. We have diluted our senses with worldly desires, slowly letting go of the self, awareness and importance of it. We are for we are, not because. Dreams presenting torment and pa

  I recently found myself in a whirlwind of a ride, with someone who recently came into my life by chance. A mutual friend had made attempts at introducing us, however I’ve learnt it better to steer clear of any matchmaking attempts from friends from past experiences.   I was immediately taken aback by him. He just had a  vibe  about him, one that drew me in a way that I haven’t felt in some time.  However, things were complicated from the get go:  He had never been in a relationship, something I struggled to grasp, taking into account my initial reaction to him. This posed a concern. My mind ran laps, attempting to preempt countless scenarios of how this would lead. I also found it to be an opportunity to be part of his journey, one I believed would have been pleasant given my vast experience *clears throat*.  He made it apparent that there was another, who weeks earlier, too, had made advances on him. I had competition. This didn’t phase me though. I was confident in who I was and wh

It is quite weird to realize how growing up, I was always happy in love, never single, always moving on to the next. With that being said, I recall a time when I found myself committed to five beautiful souls. It was the December of 2006, the year I began to embrace who I was, the part of me I had been so desperately trying to fight off. Stuck in an ever-shrinking cloak room, as I inevitably grew older. Unbelievably, it might have been a ton work, however it worked for me, and it somehow helped with my lacking “self-esteem.”  The location of choice for our parties always varied and my lesbian friend always made sure I was aware of any beautiful man that glanced my way. She ensured that I was to be successful in love, even if it was for that one night. However, she did not anticipate the rate in which I would enjoy and seek out my own conquests, as I gained an invaluable sense of importance and esteem I had never felt/had. Fast forward 10 years now, I am twenty-seven and feel like a to