I Ain't No Full Time Gay

All I have to say is, I am sorry! I am sorry for not being there for you at times. Times when you just needed someone to listen to your troubles and to give you someone sane advice.  But instead, you ended up going to people who do not know you as I do! I apologize for being inconsiderate! I am sorry for making tighter bonds with others and having a life that does not revolve around you! A life consumed by routine! I am also sorry for being brutally honest when you wanted me to "sugar-coat" my honesty. I am sorry for getting in the way of all your relationships; truth is..., I love you so much that I caused your relationships to end tragically, for I cannot help but want you for myself! Everywhere I go there you are, around the corner, driving in a passing car, in the sky above everyone because I wish you so much success.  Truth is, I believe in you, and I am unable to live without you, as it feels like you are a part of me, my other!  Every time I look back at myself, th...

Stop talking, please just stop. Flip the switch and stop the words from their source. All we ever do is talk. Reminders of yesterday, of last week and last month. Reminders of how unreliable I am. Talks of how reckless I have become. Chatter to top all chats. Stop talking, please just stop. Flip the switch and stop the words from their source. I am only tired of using my mouth for something other than kissing. Words carefully constructed, de-constructed and reconstructed to resemble sincerity, empathy and honesty to mask lies and infidelities. I said I was sorry. I even apologized for what I was sorry apologizing for. Lies to keep the truce, so shut up and drink your juice. Stop talking, please just stop. Flip the switch and stop the words from their source. Please bring back the peace and let us break bread. If you point your finger, I will point to the mirror.

Sun blazing down, rain pouring down Sun glistening off the sea, reflected in our seams. Seams from you Seams from me Biding us together Hopefully forever Soul to soul Palm to palm You and me, hope we will always be Finger pointed; statements retracted Game being blamed, but continuously burning the flame Weeks come, us always holding on to, Dreaming to survive another Hoping you will forever be my lover I loved you then; normal chinos made sky-high High is what I feel; love you create. Love that dominates Hearts conflicted Confliction ruling. Always pending Never ending Confliction prevails Our hearts detained I would rather die alone than spend a day without the one I call my own for this would be our fate, should we continue to procrastinate I loved you then; normal chinos made sky-high High is what I feel; love you create. Love that dominates 'till that day, when all is gone, I will continue loving you like the sea as you lov...

Blinded by his beauty and my judgement impaired by the instantaneous infatuation of what lay before me. Trail of thought lost as my eyes follow his every movement, mapping his curves, creases and linear path. I know nothing about him, naive to his past, curious of his future and unaware of his present. Unaverred, I don't care as I am mesmerized by him. I picture myself with him. He and I, us. I want to make him mine. That was then, this is now. "Why not?" I asked him as he replied with a NO! We've been at this cat and mouse game for some time now - I've showed him my interest and I know that he feels the same. So, I ask him again, "Why NOT?" But this time, I take he's hand and stare into his honey brown eyes. As if he was putting, he's foot down, trying to get the reason(s) he would deny me the opportunity to love him and be loved by him. He replies again, "I just can't. I just can't." Months of conversing about each other and w...

I have always been a conduit, a vessel of thoughts and memories, often of the collective. Fearful of the words and images that my thumbs and eyes would channel Me, confused and overwhelmed, emotional as they flashed through my subconscious in an awakened state. Easier to recite them in my mind then to put pen to paper, easier to whisper them to myself then to share them with my shadow, Easier to let go of the unknown then to find understanding and meaning in these visions, images gifted, anointed benevolence. I often find myself sickly without cause nor understanding, but easily assign words of feigned English understanding, flu like symptoms of what would appear to be a far larger ailment, one of a mind wanting to expand, at odds with rationalisation - the need of knowing when none was required. We have diluted our senses with worldly desires, slowly letting go of the self, awareness and importance of it. We are for we are, not because. Dreams presenting torment and pa...