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Mistaken Identities

Ever found yourself in a position whereby you saw someone you didn't know... and you thought they were perfect, nothing about him/her was imperfect...and all you wanted was to be around that person because they seemed to exude such an amazing aura?
I have, far too many times and I have a habit of not learning, not growing and not being able to distinguish between what is real and what will lead to pain:




I followed your life from a distance
I followed you at a distance
Pacing myself
Preparing my life
Making reservations for us,
But all I ever did was wait for that bus.

I loved you then
I love now
I will love you forever
Until I love you numb,
Continuously making reservations
Awaiting the devastation

You were all I wanted
You played me coy
Your perfection personified
A well put together porcelain mannequin
Always reserved
That memory I will always preserve

But like all the others that came before you, all I saw was the perfection of porcelain. The smooth polished skin that you used to cloak your true self. The dapper exterior you manifest every sunrise would have made any man lose himself in your perfectly sculpted loins: the palms of my not so perfect grasps always seemed to fit so naturally there.

You drove, you drive, you directed me to sanity. Sanity lost in profanity. Profanity forged from vanity but aren't we all?
For if I had not found myself vain, I would not be in this pain.

[Singing]

"Love rain, down on me. On me, down on me.
Love rain, down on me. On me, down on me."

Wet as I was and drenched to the core, I found my in thirst quenched, but all I wanted was more.
Not more lies, fabricated from whatever explanation his sanity concocted to make him feel better about himself.
Not more devastation created from a Caucasian lie that lead to my black death.
Not more pretenses to elude that truth.

I wanted more love, my one true weakness, after a well put together porcelain mannequin. Not pain. But what is one without the other? What is the light without darkness?

I made reservations for us,
But all I ever did was wait for that bus, contemplating the devastation

Always reserved, yes you were. And that memory I will always preserve.-


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