I Ain't No Full Time Gay

I never understood why people put so much time and energy into the mission that is, SEX, until some time last year. As I look back to the experience that was, I find myself thinking about the first time I climaxed. My first sexual experience on my grandmother's leather couch; I was watching cartoons, bored stiff - more like flaccid. My left hand found its way down my pants and started stroking my limp, thick scarfed penis, in the hopes that this would occupy my time. It arose in all its might. I remembered my friend Steve making these funny gestures with his right hand, in a motion alien to me. A motion he so happily expressed when he thought our male friends "Kray". So in the moment, I thought, I should explore this phenomenon and see what it was all about. I stood up and made sure the front door was locked. I lowered my shorts and underwear and continued "killing time". What happened next was unexpected. This meaningless motion which I undertook to occupy...

Ever found yourself in a position whereby you saw someone you didn't know... and you thought they were perfect, nothing about him/her was imperfect...and all you wanted was to be around that person because they seemed to exude such an amazing aura? I have, far too many times and I have a habit of not learning, not growing and not being able to distinguish between what is real and what will lead to pain: I followed your life from a distance I followed you at a distance Pacing myself Preparing my life Making reservations for us, But all I ever did was wait for that bus. I loved you then I love now I will love you forever Until I love you numb, Continuously making reservations Awaiting the devastation You were all I wanted You played me coy Your perfection personified A well put together porcelain mannequin Always reserved That memory I will always preserve But like all the others that came before you, all I saw was the perfection of porcelain. The smooth poli...